Diffused enlightenment
More Presidential excerpts
Today I reviewed troops in charge of the cannons. The “I admire your balls” line never gets old despite what McClellan says - A. Lincoln
Met Grant in person for the first time tonight. A few beer bombs later and I felt like we were old friends. Gives good hugs. - A. Lincoln
If I’m really being honest, the hat was a last minute purchase when they said there’d be no bathroom breaks during the debate. - A. Lincoln
Every time Salmon Chase spoke at the cabinet meeting today, I’d interrupt with “Something smells fishy”. LOLs all around. - A. Lincoln
Mary arrived back from her summer visit. Spent most of the night playing with the Lincoln Log. It’s good to be President. - A. Lincoln
Spent the afternoon at the telegraph office. Long wait. Passed time spamming Congressmen with forwarded joke telegrams. - A. Lincoln
Seward and I got drunk again tonight and codified Thanksgiving for all states. Mainly did it to fuck with Gov Milledge Bonham - A. Lincoln
Truthful Tuesday and latest thoughts/news
  • 5 is done with Pre-K which means that this is the last summer before he faces real school related pressures.
  • 6 only has a week left of school. He’s handled 1st grade very well.
  • Teacher for 6 sent us an e-mail asking us to attend the end of year assembly as 6 will be receiving a Citizen Award for his class.
  • If last report card is an indication, 6 will be getting the video game that he’s been wanting for a while.
  • I’m more proud of 6 for being recognized as a good person than I am for how well he is doing academically.
  • My wife will be travelling to South America for work again next month. The boys handle her being gone well. I do too as long as I don’t mind not sleeping.
  • I entered my first marriage after my first year of college.
  • I went to college for a little less than 2 years.
  • Not going the full 4 years and getting my degree has bothered me for almost 20 years now.


I blame @TheBosha for my following of @SteveHuff. Before I tell you how awesome Steve is, I’ll give a piece of advice. If you want to know who is writing excellent stuff on Twitter check out @TheBosha’s most favs page on Favstar.

So….I was trolling for people to enhance my timeline outside…

Read and follow. Both of them.

Another Set of Diary Excerpts from my Twitter

No longer able to keep track of them, I refer to each Knight as Sir Guyihad. - diary excerpt Lady Guinevere

Today I turned Arthur into a jackass. J/K, he did that on his own. - diary excerpt Myrddin Emrys

If I hear one more “Lanc-e-not” joke, someone is going to get hurt. - diary excerpt L du Lac

I altered Uther’s appearance so he might fornicate. I alter Arthur’s so he might garden. Thus ends the line. - diary excerpt Myrddin Emrys

In Latin it may be Ambrosius, but M should still eat more pineapple. - diary excerpt Niviane

Others see stars on my robe. I see notches. - diary excerpt Myrddin Emrys

I was very very very very very hungry today. And in rut. - diary excerpt U. Pendragon

Very short test of upgraded audio recording software/equipment.

Presidential Diary Excerpts

Decided I wanted to get the presidential diary excerpts I’d posted on Twitter all together.

"I cut it down because of the fucking pollen" - diary excerpt G. Washington

"Mary bought a new 8’ bed for the guest room. Toying with idea of introducing internship program." - diary excerpt A. Lincoln

"I hope no one exploits my fetish for wearing fur while eating lasagna." - diary excerpt J. Garfield

"Cut 2" off the legs of every chair and lowered all the mirrors. Wish I could see the new guy’s reaction." - diary excerpt J. Buchanan

"Martha laughs twice as hard when I take my teeth out before I motorboat her." - diary excerpt G. Washington

"Gave speech today when a carnie yelled he wasn’t running for office. Crowd threw shit at him. Seemed right." - diary excerpt A. Lincoln

"I wish he’d realize I’m not always interested in the stories and constant chatter afterwards." - diary excerpt M. T. Lincoln

"I giggle to myself every time I write the word saltpeter to my dear wife in a letter." - diary excerpt J. Adams

"The girl’s advice re the beard has helped with public perception. But I have misgivings about the shaved groin." - diary excerpt A. Lincoln

Wrong Holiday, Right Truthful Tuesday

I’ve been cleaning old files off the hard drive that have been collected over the lifetime of a few computers.

I came across this blurb that I had typed up a little over 10 years ago when I was remembering the first Christmas without my Grandmother.

It may be about a different time of year, but it does share a little bit about me and how I grew up.


In our family, Christmas rotated to different homes over the years.


One Christmas Eve found Mom, Aunt Debbie and I sleeping over at Grandma and Grandpas.  About 5:30 in the morning I heard Mom and Aunt Debbie trying to figure out how long we’d have to wait before Grandma and Grandpa got up.  They finally came up with the idea of having me “go to the bathroom” so that I’d make enough noise to wake them up.  It worked.  I’m pretty sure that Grandma had been awake all along and listening to us plot and scheme.


Another Christmas found us at Uncle Mike and Aunt Shirley’s when they lived out on the farm (they still had the pony and the pigs).  Once again, we spent the night at the hosting home on Christmas Eve.  It was during this Christmas that I had a loose tooth.  After spending a couple of hours being “scared” by Uncle Mike with stories of pliers and string tied to doorknobs, Aunt Shirley helped me out.  I’m sure that I wasn’t the best of patients, but fortunately she had patience of her own.  With time, wiggling, and plenty of Kleenex she helped with the extraction and I was lucky enough to get a visit from both Santa and the Tooth Fairy.  I remember wondering which one ate the cookies.


Christmas at Aunt Debbie’s and Uncle Jimmy’s had a great ritual which consisted of the Christmas Eve appetizer extravaganza.  Nuts, cookies, crackers, cheeses, Uncle Mike’s beer sausage, toffee, specialty candies, and whatever new recipes the family had come across.  Everyone in the family that could possibly make it did.  No one wanted to miss out on the pre-Christmas sugar rush.  When Grandma and Grandpa were there, we’d smell either Ham or Turkey cooking all night and we’d manage to talk Grandpa into playing music with Uncle Jimmy. Grandpa played guitar and 5 string banjo.


We’d set out the cookies (after tasting them to make sure they were still fresh).  For some reason, no one found it necessary to taste test the carrots we left for the reindeer.  And then the night was capped off with my getting to sleep on the floor under the Christmas tree listening to continuous Christmas Music on the radio.  After such a long night, it wasn’t difficult to sleep very soundly.  In fact, one Christmas, Santa had to “Ho Ho Ho” as he was leaving in order to wake me up to open presents.  I’m sure that this was a relief for Aunt Debbie and Uncle Jimmy as it appears they had been lying awake for some time.


It was great being able to go up early and spend Christmas Eve night with the host family.  But the best part of it was that Mom got to as well.  There was the occasional year when she had to work late, but she almost always seemed to make it on time (even during some pretty nasty weather).  It couldn’t have been easy after working such long hours and at the time I never thought or said too much about it.  But I did appreciate it.


It seemed that no matter what difficulties had happened over the past year, or what family squabbles might have occurred – for a few days in December we came together to share old stories, great food, and a lot of love.  And the last one is what made Christmas so great.

Snaps and Whistles

Today I watched my five year old explaining to his preschool friend how to snap. It’s one of those accomplishments like learning to whistle that seems small and insignificant at first glance. But I remember lying in bed as a kid, sorting out which finger to use and how much pressure. I made the classic rookie mistake of thinking it was my index finger for much longer than I care to admit.

It was important to me that I figure out how to do it, because it was something that could only be accomplished by me. Sure, someone could tell me the mechanics of it, but there was a science to making it work.

The first few snaps were barely louder than the smack of a lip, but it sounded like a crackle of lightening to my ears. I had no consistency in terms of getting a snap every time, or even the quality of the sound, but I was snapping my fingers.

Whistling was similar in that it was a progression of mastery. At first, pleasure is derived from just making a tone that sounds like the wind whipping through the trees, or an owl with a sore throat. For a week my whistle consisted of two notes, one created by inhaling, and the other by exhaling.

The next big leap is to try and make a tune. I’m guessing that most kids from my generation and the one before had two tunes that they tried to tackle: Spoonful of Sugar and the theme from The Andy Griffith Show. In my head, I nailed them at performance hall levels. In reality, you couldn’t tell them apart from the Happy Birthday tune.

My six year old knows how to whistle. I suspect that in a few weeks after snapping confidence is built, the five year old will approach him for some tips on making sweet lip music. But for now, he’s happy exploring the world of snapping and sharing his newfound knowledge with his friend.

As for me, I’m an adult now, so small but significant challenges are behind me now. I am a mature grown up with no time for things like that.

If you need me, I’ll be working on the next level of Angry Birds.