Decided I wanted to get the presidential diary excerpts I’d posted on Twitter all together.

“I cut it down because of the fucking pollen” - diary excerpt G. Washington

“Mary bought a new 8’ bed for the guest room. Toying with idea of introducing internship program.” - diary excerpt A. Lincoln

“I hope no one exploits my fetish for wearing fur while eating lasagna.” - diary excerpt J. Garfield

“Cut 2” off the legs of every chair and lowered all the mirrors. Wish I could see the new guy’s reaction.” - diary excerpt J. Buchanan

“Martha laughs twice as hard when I take my teeth out before I motorboat her.” - diary excerpt G. Washington

“Gave speech today when a carnie yelled he wasn’t running for office. Crowd threw shit at him. Seemed right.” - diary excerpt A. Lincoln

“I wish he’d realize I’m not always interested in the stories and constant chatter afterwards.” - diary excerpt M. T. Lincoln

“I giggle to myself every time I write the word saltpeter to my dear wife in a letter.” - diary excerpt J. Adams

“The girl’s advice re the beard has helped with public perception. But I have misgivings about the shaved groin.” - diary excerpt A. Lincoln